"You look mahvelous." Isn't that the most important thing? No matter that you have the Key West Crud, and that there's no parking, and the tourists halt in the middle of any and all streets to haul out their maps, because the signage is confusing— the main thing is to "Keep looking like a million."
In that spirit, the Key West City Commission (minus Harry Bethel) approved unanimously on Tuesday a two-page large print document outlining the goals and objectives which (together with our free One Human Family stickers and Hospitality Pineapple Pins) are supposed to keep us on the right track. They are:
"CORE VALUES:
"Safety is our primary consideration in all our actions.
"Act with integrity for the sake of the reputation of your organization and yourself.
"We will recognize everyone as a customer and treat him or her with consideration and respect.
"We will be accountable for our actions.
"We will accomplish our mission and vision through teamwork."
There is also a "Vision Statement."
"Key West, a tropical paradise, envisions itself to be a role model city, known for the respect of diverse people and our environment. We will strive to be a user-friendly city, establishing an atmosphere of trust and confidence by providing quality, professional service. We are a city that cares."
And last but not least, a "Mission Statement:"
"Our mission is to maximize services to our customers in the most cost effective way. We will accomplish this through teamwork, high employee morale, sufficient staffing and quality training by establishing a partnership with the community and safeguarding the health, safety and welfare of our customers."
I must say I have received nothing but quality professional service from the parking meter enforcement personnel on Duval Street. Can't complain about that. And I am proud that not only my quarters but also my $90 in fines accrued last year, have gone to support the multiple City summit meetings which, by dint of hard labor, community participation, abundant free donuts and with the help of City department heads working overtime, have brought forth this admirable document.
Only Commissioner Carmen Turner had reservations about the document. It failed to include a statement promising that the Key West Police and Fire Departments would actively seek "diversity" when hiring. City Manager Julio Avael assured her it was already in there, he had given instructions— but the text read otherwise, so the wording had to be added.
Which brings us to an interesting problem: how can we be sure the City is actively accepting of the "diversity" of its people, when people's diversity may be hard to spot?
As in the Julia Sweeney skit on Saturday Night Live, it can sometimes be hard to determine whether "Pat" is a "he" or a "she" . . . even when s/he introduces his/her buddy, "Chris!"
It can be equally hard to determine sometimes whether a person is "of color" or whether they have just been in the sun too long. Whether they are Hispanic...or Balinese with a bad perm. We already have City laws prohibiting discrimination, but if someone sues, how can the court determine they were being "dissed" on account of their race, religion, health status or sexual orientation?
There is a solution. As usual, the Federal Court, in its infinite wisdom, has shown the way. On the petit jury summons, it says that "federal law requires you as a prospective juror to indicate your ethnicity. This answer is required solely to avoid discrimination in the juror selection and has absolutely no bearing on qualifications for jury service."
The City Commission could pass a similar law, as follows:
"Whereas, to better respect our residents' diversity and become a more user-friendly city, and
"Whereas, Key West's City Mission is to maximize services to our customers in the most cost effective way, through teamwork, high employee morale, and quality training, et cetera, Therefore,
"All residents and visitors to this City shall be provided with a voluntary questionnaire which they may fill with the particulars of their ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, handicap, HIV status, sign of the zodiac, and any other particulars which they deem necessary for others (and especially City personnel) to know about them in the interest of preventing miscommunications or discrimination.
"A copy shall be filed by the City in Public Records and a small badge shall be issued to them to wear whenever they appear in public.
"Anyone who has not filled in this form, or is not wearing the Personal Information Badge, shall be assumed to NOT require special treatment based on his individual circumstances, and will not have legal standing to sue the City or its institutions for discrimination."
I admit the badge sounds a lot like the yellow stars that the Germans required the Jews to wear prior to World War II— but this is profoundly different, since it will be entirely voluntary.
Enough for now. It is always a pleasure to feel one is part of the "team" finding new ways to treat our valued "customers" with "consideration and respect."
We need just a little more information from the public to become fully inclusive and "accountable for our actions." As ever, "safety is our primary consideration." We are "a city that cares." Remember, your parking fees will fund our groundbreaking diversity program!